These are a few of my favorite things!

I've been happily thinking of Julie Andrew's little song to her children on the Sound of Music

and thought I'd put a few of my own here (includes some pregnancy cravings...)

Lilacs and Tulips... remind me of Nana

(She liked Yellow)

Fruit Salad in a big bowl, (no banana... ugh mushy)

Old Couples in love

Young children skipping

Rainy days...

or.. SUNNY days

Daffodils in Spriiing!!!

then there's Ice Cream ("Totally Turtle")

actually ANY Ice Cream

mmm....

Any kind I've haaaad...

I simply remember my favorite things...

and then I don't feel SOOOOO Baaaad!!!

Ok... off to Country Whip!

14 Weeks and counting...

Wow!  Boy am I happy Fr. Landry's going to forgive me... what a guy!  Thank goodness!

"Moving on"... This week I find myself 14 (plus) weeks pregnant and my kids at school love to comment on how "your belly's getting bigger" and "how's the baby?"  Though I have a little cold and the fatigue has lifted, I still find the need to take naps (I LOVE naps), everything's going really well and right on target for those of you who are wondering.  Yay!

The baby's the size of a LEMON

or some information says a "Clenched Fist"

(but I look at my hands and think... WOW!  That's really big... you sure?!). 

...AND baby Fullen can clench his/her tiny fist now!...

(this cool image is actually a 3D ultrasound of a baby's fist in utero at 14 weeks)

but overall about 3 1/2 to 4" at this point.

This week the baby will begin to grow some hair

as well as form eyelids, and finish forming fingernails and toenails. Some places say I may even be able to feel our baby moving inside of me this week!  (THAT would be cool... can't wait... but I hear for a first pregnancy it might take more time)

Shaun & I went on Monday to hear the baby's heartbeat. 

When I went at 12 weeks, he wasn't able to come with me and if you remember I wasn't able to hear it on the other machine, so was asked to come back 2 weeks later.  I'm glad I did because Shaun was able to come this time and as soon as my midwife put the machine on my belly we were able to hear that Bumpa Bumpa Bumpa Bump!!!  I loved seeing his face light up and say, COOL!  It was pretty cool!!!

I cannot believe that in less than a month we'll be able to get our 18 week Ultrasound (just one week before Shaun's birthday!  What a gift for him to learn what we're having ...yup.  I'm caving) 

This will also be the time we'll definitely be able to feel the baby move and all sorts of amazing things will start happening (as if they're not already).  The baby will be able to HEAR at this point and I'll be able to start reading Stories and singing to him or her.  So exciting.  Who KNOWS what affect this could have...

Today I was talking to a friend and wondering "What" or "Who" this baby will be someday.... 

God has called this little one to be formed to come into the world at just this time... for something.  I feel SO blessed to be able to share in this process of forming and helping to raise this child. 

Every night Shaun & I pray for this baby to be healthy and for us the best parents we can be.  Though I take care of children everyday and Shaun has been a loving father for over 13 years, it's amazing when it's beginning again.  I would be so appreciative if you would please join us in prayer for our little one that God will continue to bless this pregnancy and protect him/her from anything that would cause harm.

I've been thinking that I'd like to get back to what I originally intended and began to do at the beginning of my pregnancy... write letters to the baby.  I had a friend that did that before and remember thinking how much I loved that idea because someday this child would know that they were always loved even before they were born.

...oh, and on one last note ...for all those who have been so loving and supportive to us?  We can't WAIT for our little one to meet you wonderful people!!!

Let's give em' something to talk about...

I've always loved this picture and the thought of how many difficulties Mary & Joseph had to endure to keep their family safe and do God's will even if nobody understood. 

So... Shaun and I have been very unhappy in our parish (pastor) for a long time and decided during our marriage prep and afterwards to kick the prayers up a notch and really pray if this was where we were supposed to raise our family.  We are NOT alone in our grievances and up until now have tried to be as charitable as possible in our response to people, telling them it is "for personal reasons" (Six and a half YEARS of personal reasons).  Well, as of late (after seeking guidance from a number of others that we felt would help us to discern if our motivations were misguided or not) we found a parish that we like very much and a Pastor who's really a gem.  Out of mere "politeness" I decided not to rehash the million and one reasons for our departure and although everything in me told me to just leave and slip out quietly as confronting our former pastor would do no good, I felt that out of courtesy, I should inform our old pastor of our leaving.  He never has the time of day for us even when I'm cantoring the Masses or volunteering at the parish and has mentioned on several occasions that the best and easiest way to contact him was through email... so I did.  I sent this little letter, and decided to leave out all of the major reasons for our decision and just "inform" him instead:

On Apr 1, 2011, at 8:33 PM, Marijanna Lokitis wrote:

Dear Fr. Landry,

Peace!  After prayerful discernment, Shaun and I have decided for personal reasons to leave St. Anthony's.  We've been praying about this for some time.  I wanted to inform you as I'm sure you'll notice the change to the cantor schedule and assumed you would no longer be interested in having me cantor if I'm no longer a parishioner.  Thank you for your continued prayers for us.

In Christ,

Marijanna

...well after days of no reply and not going out of his way at all to connect with either Shaun or I as we volunteered at this weekend's Pancake Breakfast run by the Knights of Columbus at our former parish, I was not surprised, but left it as it was.  Then today I opened my email and saw that I finally had recieved a reply days later.  The response is as follows:


From: Fr. Roger J. Landry
Date: Apr 5, 2011 2:57 PM
Subject: Re: Leaving Parish
To: Marijanna Lokitis <marijannalokitis@yahoo.com>
Dear Marijanna

Your email implies, by your mentioning your praying for discernment for some time, that God is suggesting or commanding you to leave the parish. While God clearly does call people to move (e.g., Abraham), it's a rare thing that he calls people to switch parishes, and I would guess that in your case he's probably not. 

If in your discernment you thought you heard the same voice suggesting that the appropriate way to communicate your leaving would be by email or that God preferred that you cancel a commitment to cantor the 4 pm Mass here at 8:45 the night before (I actually informed the organist who made the schedule the previous week and was not informed that I was scheduled anyway, but out of courtesy wrote again to make sure the organist knew I had a family commitment.  Somehow this became my fault) in order to have more time to hang out with Cheyenne (this is Shaun's daughter) — so that there would be no cantor at the Mass celebrated — I'd be on much firm theological and pastoral grounds in saying that such suggestions almost certainly would not be coming from above. 

I'd encourage you to remember that even in prayer, the devil can deceive us. When he does, he tries to lead us from one bad decision to another, to foresake relationships, commitments, and other goods intended by God by suggesting to us seemingly justifiable but ultimately mistaken rationalized justifications — apparent goods. 

I say this because there's a lot of talk going around the community by people who know you that, if true, would clearly show in your decision to leave the parish  the devil's draw play. I am pretty oblivious to this stuff and found it incredible at first but, over time, it's become more plausible, and might suggest a diabolical, not a divine, context for your present decision to withdraw. 

Several people said you seemed to be showing at your wedding. I didn't notice a thing, even after others mentioned it. Others when you sent out ultrasounds said that they had never heard of ultrasounds showing babies the way yours was showing fewer than seven weeks after pregnancy. My reaction was, in the face of others' calling me naive, that the technology must be getting better. Then a couple of mothers started wondering whether you were carrying sextuplets because of how much you're showing. 

Let me get to the point: If you happened to conceive a child before you were married and you think that withdrawing from your parish will be a way to eliminate a possibility of scandal to others or dealing with any shame yourself, please know that not only it would really be too late for that but that also the devil would be trying to use your fear of causing scandal or of dealing with shame to reel you into a continued pattern of deceptions rather than living in the light and the truth. He'll use such pretensions to destroy the trust others have for you, undermine the vertical and horizontal bonds you have with others, and finally seek to cut you off so that you can be his.  

If all the rumors and innuendo are totally baseless — the real or another ploy of the father of lies — please know that your withdrawing from the parish will nevertheless only exacerbate them, because people will be wondering the real reason for your departure. (see below) The only thing that would probably put the rumors to rest would be your giving birth to a child around Labor Day. 

My prayers for all three of you. Please know you're welcome here if you discern that what you heard in prayer was not in truth the Lord's voice. 

In Christ,

Fr. Landry

Fr. Roger J. Landry

I was debating whether to post this here, but feel that if such rumors are circulating (as I'm sure they are... and Fr. Landry has so generously and gently informed me) it's best I dispel them myself... without shame.

Shaun and I concieved during our honeymoon and not before for a REASON.  If we had struggled with chastity to the point where I had fallen and concieved beforehand... I would have had to "practice what I preach" and accept this child and challenge as a gift from God and opportunity to humble myself in walking in my faith even when it was difficult.  As it is, we were blessed right off the bat in our marriage... thank you Lord!

I did start showing early and went to my midwife right away to see if we were expecting multiples (which we would have accepted gratefully... even had they been sextuplets).  We were not and my midwife was not concerned.  We went for a 10 1/2 week ultrasound (not less than 7 as is implied here, but even if we had, a baby would still have been visible) and that is the image I happily shared with the world.  I didn't have morning sickness (another blessing) so my body absorbed every calorie and held onto it.  The one time in my life I will be happy to be "HUGE" (even in the face of the tactless people who feel no reason to restrain their lips in telling me I look so)

Shaun & I are expecting baby Fullen on October 4th, 2011.  

I am certain that those who know me will not be wavered in their confidence in me... and even if they ever do, I am who I am before God.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.

For those who are interested in joining me at our NEW parish and celebrating with us in our happiness there.  You can follow the progress and the growth of my abdomen by sitting beside us in Mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Help on North Front Street, New Bedford.  Beware, though... homilies there are sure to inspire hope, and love and a desire to grow in holiness as opposed to depression and dejection and a feeling of worthlessness... if you want that kind of a homily... St. Anthony's is right down the street.

As for your questions, comments, concerns or desire to get to the bottom of any "rumors" you may have heard circulating... feel free to let loose here. 

 

Words of Wisdom from Maya Angelou

I LOVE Maya Angelou... always did.  So today I'm not being very original, by stealing this from her... but I figure her wisdom is better than mine would be today.

Maya Angelou was interviewed on her 70+ birthday.. and asked what she thought of growing older. There on television, she said it was 'exciting...'

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day.....like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words! Maya Angelou said this:

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back...'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Today I'm 13 Weeks! WOW!

Today I'm 13 Weeks and "Baby Fullen" is the size of a Peach

...or a Shrimp

I'm not sure which image I actually like better?

Perhaps this one is my favorite...

...pretty awesome huh?

As of last week our baby would have been really developing reflexes and able to suck his/her thumb, kick, squint, etc...  This week baby's eyebrows are growing, he/she is able to smile AND vocal chords are developing... maybe he/she will sing like Daddy and I do!

Baby also has as many nerve endings as WE do!  Connections are being made between brain, muscles & nervous system.  Cool.

I was able to go talk to the 5th grade class today and read them this book:

...it's all about this baby in utero who's growing and talking to their guardian angel.  It's pretty amazing to think that my baby's guardian angel is with me and my angel ALL the time.  WHAT must they talk about I wonder?

The kids were eager to offer name suggestions and after being offered many I suggested they write them down on paper and drop them in my mail slot.  By the end of the day the suggestions I had for names are as follows:

Boys:

Justin

Kendall

Jake

Carlos

James

John

Gabe

Logan

Jacob

Oliver

Chase

Michael

Dylan

Kyle

Andrew

Jordan

Chris

Johnathan

Austin

Nick

Jeremy

Ben

Robert

Fred

Gread

Rodrick

Jared

Joseph

Alex

Lenny

Oscar

Dave

David

Bobby

Pauly

Paul

Harry

Jason

Max

Albert

Brandon

Edward

Tommy

Phil

Ted

Colin

Gorge

Mark

Zac

Cody

and Girls names?

Rylee

Melisa

Jennel

Maurisa

Joclyn

Ashley

Jada

Lauren

Clair

Macy

Stella

Sally

Bridget

Kayla

Kate

Katherine

Alyson

Kennedy

Lexie

Sammy

Samantha

Baily

Skyla

Faith

Hanna

Lily

MaryKate

Taylor

Saidee

Christine

Jen or Jenny

Crystie

Gabby

Michelle

Stephanie

Molly

Megan

Jasmine

Selena

Cassidy

Cassy

Haley

Morgan

Lynsey

Kelsey

Violet

Ellie

Ella

Destiny

Chelsea

Katie

Mia

Crystal

Evangeline

...not in alphabetical order!  Phew!  Who needs to buy a baby name book!?  Just ask a 5th grader!!!

They are too funny.  So are the people who think or that you can't hear them when you're walking by and they say things like "Whoa!  She's huge!  She's getting SO huge!  I just found out she's pregnant!  I cannot believe how BIG she's getting already!  She's SURE there's only ONE in there?"  Sheesh!  I'm only 5 feet away maam!

makes me feel like saying, "Uh, c'mere... I'll show you huge!"

...but I won't.  I'll just think it.

Meaningful Meanderings through my mind in the middle of a Monday...

So March is the Month we remember my dear friend, Dr. Seuss... probably the reason for the title.  I've perhaps read a few too many of his meanderings this month to the children (and have a pile left to go).  Imagine if they had blogs in the time of the good Dr.?  What would we be reading each day?  I've often thought and thought about Dr. Seuss and what a smart as a whip author he is... and making it SO much fun while he does it.  He really was quite a philosopher when you think of it and desperately tried to point out some very important truths to those who he still had hope in... our children AND those lovely older people who would read his stories to them.  Sneaky guy.... !!!

I mean... just think about it! 

Horton hears a Who is most obviously "Pro-Life" ..."a person's a person no matter how small" and all about how this one animal who just happens to "hear" a little better than the rest, reminds all around him to defend the defenseless... and how every voice counts... very profound if you ask me..

Green Eggs & Ham is all about how things aren't always as bad as we THINK they're going to be and not judging new things until you've actually experienced them... That's the only way you can actually speak about something with any sort of authority

The Cat & the Hat well, if that didn't scare your little knickers about talking to strangers and letting people in the house when you shouldn't (at a time when kids often WERE left home alone more often).  The things kids do when they're bored sure to seem like a good idea in the beginning... and then "whammmo!" disaster strikes!  Boy!  And you thought the fish was ...well, just a cold fish.  Seems he was the wisest of all! ...at least the Cat cleaned up his mess.  That seemed the only lucky part.

The Lorax  ...now there's a profound one!  All about taking care of our precious resources and what happens through greed ...oh and the hope found at the end... and the responsibility that comes with it.

The Sneetches BOY... that one's profound.  The lessons about predjudice, and bullying, and envy and hate and self-worth ...oy!  A friend of mine uses this book when teaching her 8th grade class about the Holocaust. 

Oh, I could go on and on... Dr. Seuss, Dr. Seuss... thank you for your wisdom.  May we be like Horton and have ears to hear it!

...So, I didn't actually plan on writing at ALL about Dr. Seuss today, but that's the problem with a busy brain... you just jump inside and don't know WHERE it will take you.  "Oh the Places You'll go" (that's another good one).

I've been thinking all sorts of things this weekend and havent' been on the computer to write, but just wanted to spill a few of my thoughts here. 

First of all, I found myself grateful for a dear old friend named "Alice the Great" who I was privleged to know before she passed away this week.  Who "adopted" me as another daughter and prayed for me until she died her peaceful holy death after battling bone cancer.  Who had made me laugh and cry so many times and prayed I'd find someone like her dear husband, Armand... who she loved like crazy until the end.  I did find someone... and when she saw pictures of my wedding and heard I was expecting, her daughter told me she exclaimed "FINALLY!  Someone who did it RIGHT!"  I'm glad she was able to see the fruit of her prayers.  I am grateful to have known her and learned from her how to "live" life to the full... even when you're dying.

I was grateful this past Thursday for ...of all things... little flowers.  Tiny little flowers picked by little hands (you know the kind.  The ones with the petals barely hanging on the the scrap of stem left because it was plucked too close to the top?) and ran up the school stairs to me at the end of a long day and accompanied by a great big hug from a sick little boy that I'd missed after a long week.  A little boy that I realized at that moment will all too soon be grown big (too big for flowers for his teacher)... but who reminds me of how fast my own little one will grow... and to appreciate each moment!

I found myself grateful on Friday when I was at a retreat for a beautiful story that reminded me that I have been given the gift as a teacher to either help children learn how to "fly"... or make them feel like they should never try.  I've loved teaching... I LOVE children.

I found myself grateful for my husband this weekend as he got ready very early in the morning on a Saturday to go to a men's conference in Worcester.  That I'm married to a man who's not afraid to shed tears in public because he's moved by the sound of over 1000 men singing the entrance hymn to a Mass or who is moved by the sight of the crucifix after communion... or who's not ashamed to laugh hard out loud when something's really funny... even if it's him.  And who came home SO happy and proud to be Catholic! 

I found myself grateful for my voice and my ability to sing to God's glory.  I love to sing for Jesus and when I was singing this weekend, I remembered as I so often do, how surprised I am when I open my mouth and that sound comes out!  I never know quite what to expect.  It's like I caught this wild thing inside of me and when I sing, it comes out.  I love looking at my husband's face when I sing... he makes me love myself.

I found myself thinking about everyone I know who's suffering and how lately ...I know it might sound silly, but ...I've felt almost guilty that things are going so well in my life.  Sure, I could look around and find things to complain about... anyone can.  Honestly, though, I feel SO incredibly blessed.  I found consolation this weekend though and a way to "not apologize" for the gifts I've recieved... especially because I know I dont' really deserve them.

It's like this... I looked out the window and thought about the Seasons.  When it's Winter, it doesn't seem so bad in the beginning, but after a while we all want it to be over.  When Spring comes, it doesn't apologize like it's taking Winter's turn or something away from Winter's "Season"... it's just it's time to come.  We appreciate it even more when it seems to come late. 

Well, Shaun & I have had our fair share of "Winter" season's in our lives.  I'm sure we'll have our share of "winter-times" to come... but right now it's our "Spring".. and soon it will be "Summer" and instead of feeling sorry that it's our "Spring-time" I'd like to enjoy it... and share it... with everyone I can!  Even though it's cold outside... it feels like "Spring" to me!!!

Why can't he just see it MY way???

So... I went to the doctor (actually my midwife) last night to get my "checkup" and everything's "normal".  Couldn't hear the heartbeat with this different machine, but I'm not allowing myself to panic about this at all because everything's been just fine.  I go back in two weeks to hear the baby's heartbeat again and I'm realizing that this will actually work out better because Shaun will be able to come then!  Yay!

...but all is not perfect.  Shaun and I are in the middle of a disagreement....

...ok, so we're hardly acting like this.  Actually we're getting along just fine & he's being his wonderful self, but NOW he's DYING... I mean, just practically jumping out of his skin...

to find out what we're having.  His mum called the other day and she's also dying to find out so she can get to work making all the baby stuff she's so good at, but wants it to be just perfect for what ever little whoever we're having...

...we both are TOTALLY thinking it's more important that the baby's healthy and we would be happy as clams (where did that expression even come from???) with either a boy or a girl... or both (even though Shaun does have an awfully big soft spot for girls).

Anyhow, after his conversation with his Mum I kept thinking, "Hey there!  Who's side are you ON?  Do you actually want to find out?" and he leaned his head down and sheepishly went "I really do!"

I laughed!  "Are you serious?" Yup!  Now it's all he talks about.  Cannot WAIT to find out what we're having.  Sooo.... we have 6 more weeks to argue about it, but dont' tell him... he'll actually probably get his way. 

SHHHH! 

Honestly he asks me for SO little and gives me SO much... if he really wants this... I may just end up caving.  Ugh.  Don't tell him, though.  I'd like to keep the argument going JUST a little longer.

(typical woman!) HA!