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We met over 8 years ago at church as Shaun was walking in and I was walking out. The few words exchanged sparked an interst that kept Shaun coming back. When we FINALLY began dating 4 years later we soon knew there was something special here. Our first year quickly flew by and we both decided we never wanted to spend another year with anyone else or without each other. We married in the place where it all began on January 1, 2011 (1/1/11) and gave birth to our beautiful daughter Ava Marie on September 22, 2011 our next little one, Clara Rose came 16 months later on February 11, 2013. This blog began with our preparation with our wedding and has entered into recording the days and events of our newlywed life and new motherhood.

The Happy Couple...

Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

Ava Marie

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

Clara Rose

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Second Birthday tickers

Gabriel's ticker

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Twins ticker

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Pregnancy tickers

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Laundry... Hacks that might actually work!


Because this is where my mind is these days...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/17/laundry-secrets-big-families_n_7562544.html

(THIS Mom is my hero... but my living room is NOT that big)
http://bakersdozenandapolloxiv.com/2015/04/23/large-family-laundry-hacks/

http://bakersdozenandapolloxiv.com/2015/04/06/manage-laundry-large-family/

http://lifehacker.com/5993006/top-10-ways-to-breeze-through-laundry-like-a-boss

http://www.thatchicmom.com/2015/02/laundry-hacks-large-families-everyone-else/

Lots of great ideas here (why did I never think of storing the sheets for each room in the end table for that bedroom?)
http://www.kidspot.com.au/31-genius-laundry-hacks-to-make-laundry-washing-a-breeze/


I would LOVE (I mean really really love) to hear your tips for keeping up on the laundry with big(ger) families.

Do you use detergent (powdered/liquid), pods or make your own.  If you make your own does it really work?  Currently we use tide pods and it IS much easier.



Here's our current laundry situation and it's pitfalls for us personally.


  • Washer and dryer are in the basement (which means I have to leave 4 little kids who have a track record of being creative with their use of time when I am out of the room... or even in it for that matter ...unattended.)
  • We do NOT have a laundry room, so things usually end up in the living room (where kids like to dump and "help fold"... or pretend laundry baskets are boats or rocket ships or beds for baby dolls and stuffed animals.  It is not uncommon to come into  a room where a number of baskets were recently folded and find them dumped out and the toy bin full of stuffed animals "sleeping" in said baskets and each animal "covered up and tucked in" with all those clean laundry items... "shhhhh Mom, the babies are sleeping!")

  • We have two floors in our (smallish) house and not enough room in the bedrooms for everyone's clothes, so we store in bins in the hallway too.
  • With stairs, we have tried laundry on the stairs for each child and that has not gone over well.  They are still much too curious.  (We have tried gates to keep them away... they are great climbers.  GREAT climbers.  NO gross motor skill issues here.)
  • With four VERY mobile littles four and under we don't have "bigger kids" to help out with laundry (that being said, I still have the "big girls" who are just newly 4 and 2.5 help sort towels, washcloths, bibs, panties and socks.  Ava folds the washcloths and handtowels ...and big towels sometimes and they help put the bibs and panties away... with a LOT of prompts.  ...in short sometimes I'd rather just scream and do it myself, BUT we're teaching lessons right?  Goodness I hope so!)
  • We always seem to be ending up with "interesting" laundry messes that don't end up in the regular "catagories".  Pillows, comforters and mattress toppers are often in the laundry pile.  With two potty training... it doesn't matter if they wear diapers.  Lots of stomach bugs and throwing up ...and too young to have great aim.  I regularly have bathmats that are soaked from exhuberant baths or more potty training accidents.  Even towels when kids don't quite get the hang of the toilet paper it seems that 's the next best option.  Ugh.  So happy they're learning... so hating the laundry, lol.
  • My husband works looooong hours, so when he gets home he has enough to do with helping with bedtimes and other tasks around the house, I don't want him to have to add laundry to the list.  I want him to enjoy his time with the kids since they are the ones he's working so hard for.  (that being said, he actually does help a LOT, but I'd love to be able to manage it and not have to pull him away from other things for something so trivial as laundry)
  • I am TALL.  I have genetically passed down my tall-ness (both Ava and Clara are on target to reach 6ft) which means I'm pretty much blowing through clothing sizes in record speeds (My toddlers are not beyond wearing size 6's) and since we are leaving our family size in God's hands, I am reluctant to get rid of too many of the clothes we have acquired because I don't know if we'll need them again in the near future and don't want to have to buy them all over again.  I also don't know what "seasons" we'll need.  Those with big families close together, I'm sure you "get it".  The problem lies in that if we weed out and don't have "enough clothes" they beat on them and wear through them quickly (we actually let our kids "play" and get dirty) too many and I feel like a hoarder.  Having clothes ready in the next size up has really often come in handy, but it's hard to keep on top of it all.  
  • We do not presently live in the type of neighborhood where I could say... send my kids outside to go play for a while and lock the doors behind them and know they're safe while I get caught up on things.  We also do not have a "play room" That means they are ALWAYS with me.  If they're not with me and are say, "playing in their room" the child locks on their drawers are nothing to those masterminds of imagination and all the neatly folded clothes that might have been there before I was trying to "catch up on something" are often no longer there and have been used in some magical pretend play experience.  
  • My children are NOT good sleepers (they're getting there), so I don't have a group "nap time" (except for very rare occasions like today, where I'm blogging instead of dealing with the laundry beast) or kids in bed by a reasonable time to allow me to get caught up on chores.  By the time everyone is actually asleep, I'm usually too tired to even look for a wine glass, so I'm looking for tips that are manageable to do with kids crawling and climbing everywhere around me, ha!
  • I'm ADD ...for reals.  (aka: I'm easily distracted)
  • Practicing nudity is starting to become more and more appealing.
Ok... so that's my "keeping it real", but seriously, I'd love to hear your input on how you keep on top of it all!  Send those tips my way and enjoy the links I found that seem to have some good tips.



All that being said, I would STILL rather have all the kids than a clean house with no "laundry issues".






Thursday, October 1, 2015

Walking the Little way is a Big thing!


Today is the Feast of St. Therese.  I haven't "blogged" for so long because... well... twins... toddlers... homeschooling/caring for four littles who don't sleep nearly as much as they ought to and a husband who works long hours make for little blogging opportunity.  Maybe quick facebook posts while nursing said twins, but not much "blogging".  I miss it though, so today seemed as good a day as any to "begin again".

Today I woke at 2am to a 2 year old who wasn't sick yesterday, but somehow was sick by nightfall and came in just in time to throw up all over my sleeping husband... our bed... and our white carpet...

...so began our walking of the "Little way" first thing while half asleep.



I actually find that no matter how tired I am, it's hard to not be loving towards your toddler who feels like crap in the middle of the night and looks at you with a face like an angel in her feverish sickness.  God in his wisdom in return for the sacrifices required of us gives us such tremendous love as parents that it would be harder NOT to respond to their needs than it would be to stay in bed and let them fend for themselves.  As a single person I'm pretty sure I wouldn't respond as "lovingly" if a random person just came and threw up on me in the middle of the night and asked me to take care of them... yeah... the visual alone!

Today I am so appreciative of Therese and the many reminders she offers me personally in my daily life that is rife with opportunities to practice this slow steady walk towards Christ.  Motherhood (and Fatherhood) is truly a vocation to holiness if we embrace lovingly the little gifts given to us each day.  I do NOT always handle things as patiently as I could, but I suppose that's why I'm given so many chances to try again!


I keep saying to myself that I need to put little signs or reminders through my house to lift my heart up to God.  I remember when I would visit convents (particularly the Carmelites) years ago that they often had these little sayings posted everywhere that I just loved.  Over the clock would be something like "A little while and it will be eternity" or something of the sort.

Over my changing table I need to post something like "Do Small things with Great love" or "Remember you are changing the BABY not just changing the DIAPER".


...I need SOoooo many reminders.

Today I had a great chat with my "big girls" (by BIG I mean a whole week old 4 year old and a 2.5yr old) while changing the twins diapers first thing.  We were chatting about St. Therese and who she was and how she wanted to be their friend in heaven and pray for them and help them.  I told them how she was very much like them as a little girl.  She was beautiful and sweet and loved Jesus and Mary, but she was also very stubborn and had a bad temper and a strong personality.  I told them how they also have all the makings to be great saints someday.  We talked about how she wanted to be a great saint, but didn't think she could do all the difficult things the other saints did (I hear you, Therese.  I can't even finish a novena! ...or my laundry!) so she decided to ask God for help to do small things with love and offer them to gain graces for souls.  It did not matter how "important" the task she was doing seemed, she needed only to do it with as much love as she could.

While we were coloring their new calendars and doing their "schoolwork" I reminded them as they sat beneath the pictures of Jesus and Mary at our dining room table that sometimes they were going to be tired and not feel like coloring or paying attention to their lessons, but if they did it their best and offered it to Jesus and Mary, they could gain many graces just by coloring that one rectangle on their calendar or doing their best work painting or cleaning up.  They could offer it for whoever they wanted or give the graces to Mary and she would decide best who to give them to.  I was so proud of how hard they worked and the questions they asked and for the opportunity to talk to them like this and encourage them not only to learn and to "work" but to do it in a virtuous way.  Of course I want to foster my children's intelligence, but more importantly I want them to be "good".


At that moment I (like occurs to me many times) thought of my husband and how he was working so hard where he was today practicing his own "little way".  All this after being thrown up on at 2am being woken up many times during the night and heading off to work before 5am to provide for all of us.  He was walking his own path to holiness (and traveling quickly upon it) and if it wasn't for his hard work, I couldn't be home with the children teaching them and kissing them and cuddling them on sick days and doing all the things that fill our ordinary days.  I felt very close to him at that moment even though he wasn't with me and I realized again how the family is connected and each has a role to play ...and it is beautiful.  At that moment Shaun shot me a text message and I smiled knowing we were thinking of each other where we were in our daily lives.  Such are the simple things marriage is made of... and I was (and am) so grateful.


...anyhow I suppose I just wanted the day not to escape me without taking a few moments to express my gratitude for my "ordinary" life.  There was a time when I thought of nothing more than doing great things, but now I couldn't be happier than in this little life full of simple, but extraordinary blessings.







Saturday, September 13, 2014

Polka dots and baby updates

Had a party to go to this past weekend and only the girls were allowed (don't worry, Shaun was more than happy to mow the lawn instead).  Ava wanted to wear "Polka dot dresses" and as I'd bought these for her possible "polka dot party" before a broken ankle and house that got "out of control" got in the way of having a big shindig in a couple of weeks, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to use them!









Here I am at 28 weeks...




and later the same week...

Currently I'm 29.5 weeks and had an ultrasound a few days ago.  All along I've been thinking that these are going to be "bigger" babies (as far as twins go) and wouldn't be surprised if I went full term.  Right now they're doing fantastic!  As of Thursday, Baby A is measuring at 3lbs 8oz and Baby B is measuring at 3lbs 4oz.  They've been very "even" right along which is also great news.  They're a big big for their gestational age, but that was NO surprise to me.

I was unable to get any really good ultrasound pics this time because they were transverse (across my belly sideways... no wonder I've been so uncomfortable) and smooshed up face to face, like this.  Too cute, though.  We believe they're already plotting against us.

Things I've noticed about both of them are that Baby A (the boy) has been overall very cooperative for ultrasounds and overall whereas Baby B (the girl) has been very similar to Ava in her ultrasounds, kicking at the equipment and always has her face mushed up against something (my placenta or her brother in this instance, so we've NEVER been able to get a decent facial shot.  I'd like to say she's going to outgrow it, but honestly, if she's anything like her sister, she's just gotten better at perfecting her camera aversion techniques.

No matter.  We're thrilled that they're happy and healthy and mommy's doing well, the girls are great and keeping me very busy.  Daddy's working hard as always.  Nana's been here to help a lot (lifesaver) and the broken ankle is coming right along.  I'm hoping in the next week or two I get to ditch the big bad boot for good.  That definitely made this pregnancy, uh... more "interesting"... because a twin pregnancy in a New England Summer with toddlers just wasn't enough of a challenge!  Ha!  Hoping all is very well in your worlds, my friends!

Pretty awesome to think that they went from being the size of a period at the end of a sentence (.) to this:



Friday, September 5, 2014

They FINALLY got a sandbox... think they like it?










Don't let Ava fool you.. she just is an expert at avoiding the camera.  It's like her superpower.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Night time chatty time with Ava...


Laying in bed with Ava tonight I was singing to her the usual songs (and a few more because they were going on forever) and then back to the ones I always sing... and she just.wasn't.sleeping.  I'd start falling asleep myself and her little voice would whisper, "Mommy... why'd you stop singing?  I want you to keep singing that song."   Then she'd, you know, win me over with her sweet voice when she'd put her soft face up close to mine and say, "Mommy, you're a great singer!"  "Thank you Ava!" ...then I'd get my cue to keep singing.

She asked me at one point why I was taking care of her and her babies (stuffed animals) and I said:

Me: "Because I love you"

Ava: "Why do you love me?"

Me: "Oh, Ava, because you're easy to love"

Ava: "Why am I easy to love?"

Me: "Oh, for so many reasons, Ava but first of all because you're my daughter."

Ava: "Why am I your daughter?"

Me: "Because God gave you to me? YOU are His gift to me/"

Ava: "Why did God give me to you?"

Me: "Because He's loves me"

Ava: "Why does he love you?"

Me: "Because I'm HIS daughter... and He's a good Father"

*thoughtful pause*

Ava: "Yes, he IS a good Father, Mommy.  He's just like Daddy and he takes such good care of our family.  He loves Daddy and Mommy and Ava and Clara and our whole family and He takes care of us..."

Me: "That's right Ava"

Every time I lay with her and it takes for-e-ver for her to fall asleep or it seems I've sung a million songs, I try to stop and think... It's only for a little while and she won't need me to lay with her or sing her songs anymore, so it's best to snuggle and sing while I can.  Besides, I think I'd even miss chatty time.

Monday, July 7, 2014

What I've learned

Shaun and I were reflecting the other night how we've only been "married" a little over 3 years.  It's hard to believe how "full" these last few years have been.  Too much has happened to review in one post, but it sort of amazed us when we laid a bit of it out to each other.

In the past few months since Gabriel's passing, I've meant to sit and write so many times.  I've had so much I didn't want to forget... so much to remember... and yet, my time with my family has seemed even more important.  My time with my children that I've always cherished has become even more of a gift and felt even more fleeting.  My days (as those of any mother of young children) have been long and by the end of the day I really am not drawn to sit at my computer desk and hash out what feels so meaningful that it shouldn't be rushed.  In my lack of attempt, though I fear many of my memories will be lost.  This post is mostly for me, but for those of you who have wondered, I'll try to write a bit about what I've experienced and learned from Gabriel.

Gabriel was due right around Mother's Day this year.  We pondered whether he might come on Shaun's birthday (May 11th).  His coming was (as all of our children were) very happily awaited and my time of pregnancy was cherished.  Shortly before we lost him, I made a short post on facebook along the lines of how much I loved being pregnant during Advent.  I just loved being pregnant period.  I know there are times when it is uncomfortable or inconvenient, but overall I really really love the thought of a child growing within me and God using me to cooperate in a hidden miracle.  I am always so grateful.

This pregnancy was different, though.  It was not more "difficult" than the others... actually the opposite.  It was a great pregnancy with little to no reason to worry.  Every visit to my midwife was good and both I and the baby seemed to be progressing well.  We are not "waiters" when it comes to finding out gender.  We look forward to knowing whether we will be having a boy or a girl and being able to settle on a name and bond with the baby by name even before he/she is born.  We were excited as the date approached to find out what we were having and not all together surprised that the baby was uncooperative with the ultrasound as Ava had been the same way.  I was not concerned about not feeling the baby kick yet as with my previous pregnancies, I had also tended to feel the first movements a little later.

When we found out the following week that Gabriel had died I was silent.  My mom had come with me to the appointment as Shaun had returned to work only a couple of days before after being out of work from the recent car accident(s).  The ultrasound tech was nearly in tears, my mom began to pray, and Ava jumped down from her seat and began to dance and sing "...up above the world so high... like a diamond in the sky... twinkle twinkle little star...  how I wonder what you are"

I silently laid on the table with tears quietly rolling down the sides of my face thinking as she sang of all the passages about stars in the scriptures.  The first one that came to mind was "In the midst of a twisted and depraved generation you will shine like stars in the sky"  My midwife was called in and they rechecked the ultrasound.  I can still remember her stroking my hair and holding my hand.  Strangely enough as I got ready to meet her in her other room, I felt... resigned.

As I sat with her and she asked how I was, Ava and Clara played nearby and my mom sat across from me.  I turned to her and said, "This entire pregnancy, I always felt as though I would lose this baby".  She and my mother looked a bit surprised.  My mom said, "You didn't ever mention anything".  To which I scoffed something like, "Well, who says something like that?  I mean, especially when nothing is wrong?"  I tried to explain, but at that point couldn't.

I still have trouble explaining it, and all I can say now is that it wasn't a "fear" during the pregnancy and it was different than the feeling we might all have of worry that comes when you have long periods between visits to your doctor/midwife and don't feel anything yet.  We have always known and discussed with each pregnancy that Shaun & I knew that no matter what happened, this child had an immortal soul and whether they made it into our arms would always live forever.

We always knew that with each baby.

This time there was this "whisper" always in the background that somehow this pregnancy would not reach completion.  I don't exactly know how to describe it and I proceeded along as usual, not "expecting" to lose the baby, just going along as if everything was fine and taking each step as it came.  Still, the whisper was always there.... subtle... almost silent in the background of my busy days.

I still had joy and expectation.  We spoke of names and I thought of where I would be able to fit another car seat, how I would rearrange rooms, how the heck would I wean Clara who was still up somewhere between 4-6x on average each night and was no where near showing any interest in weaning from nursing.  We just went forward trusting that as always, everything would work itself out and we were just to take each day as it came.

Advent came and I always loved this joyful season of waiting.  I felt especially blessed to be waiting in anticipation of my own gift of the womb.  I felt that in my busy life this was how I was most able to enter into the mystery of the season and share it with Our Lady.  The girls busily grew and bumbled along and brought joy and wildness and fullness to my days and unlike a first pregnancy when all there is to focus on is the new baby to come, they also brought distraction from this pregnancy and I had to find the moments to slow down and reflect on the new life within coming along quickly.  Most moms will tell you that each consecutive pregnancy goes a little quicker as there's so much "life" around to pull those weeks and months along.

Before we knew it I was nearly at my 1/2 way mark (a little over 19 weeks along) and the day of my 2nd ultrasound appointment I remember it had snowed the days before (as it had so much this winter) and I was trying to still get the house decorated for Christmas.  We made it a point to really celebrate "Advent" as a family and not rush into the Christmas season too soon.  We liked to put up our tree on Christmas eve and then really celebrate the "Christmas SEASON" that the church gives us in the days and weeks that follow Christmas day.  When everyone else seems "done" and ready to throw their trees out and take decorations down, we're just getting excited and entering in.

Anyhow, my mom had stayed over during the bad weather and the baby had been up a lot during the night, so she took a nap with the girls that day.  Everyone was put to sleep and I remember hanging Christmas lights along the stairs and archways of our doors.  I was so happy.  I loved this time of year and whenever I hung decorations or ornaments I always get nostalgic and start thinking about the people and things in my life.  I was reflecting on our wedding day (also celebrated around this time of year and Christmas trees and decorations always remind me of it) and my wonderful marriage.  How much I really loved Shaun and felt loved by him.  Thinking about my wonderful friends and the people in my life.  The help and support I have.  My beautiful children that I'm blessed to spend my days with.  This lovely little home that won't seem to sell right now, but brings with it so many happy memories.  I was secretly happy to have another Christmas here.  I thought about how many things I had to pray for and how many I knew were struggling in their lives with health, infertility, their marriages, their children, financial situations, uncertainty... whatever.  So much to pray for and in the midst of it all I just kept thinking about how GOOD my life was.  I was flooded with this feeling of gratitude.  FLOODED.  I felt my life was just so so GOOD.  I look back and think that the flooding of gratitude I received and memories of all that was so good in my life was a gift to me that day.

In the midst of all of this I was still hanging ornaments and though I didn't hear a "voice" the words "But a really heavy cross could come at any time... and would you thank Him even then?" came strongly to me.  They were not a "threat" but merely a strong thought to remember that every gift I was thankful for I had received from God, but would I still thank Him if I were to receive a heavy cross as well.

A couple of hours later we found out Gabriel had died and those words came back to me.  It was like He had "braced" me somehow beforehand.

I wrote this post almost up to this point months ago and got "stuck" and seemed to have a hard time writing any further for some reason.

I had a hard time writing about all the good and bad things that have continued to happen in our lives, mostly blessings really perhaps because I felt like If I continued to post it would bring the reality that we were moving forward with our lives... or life was moving on... without our Son with us.

I had so many things I held in my mothers heart and thought and reflected on throughout the months.  So many lessons that he taught me that I wanted to share with you and I didn't' want to write about anything else until I'd given him a proper tribute, but I've realized that as with all of our children, Gabriel is no different.  He continues to teach us and be with us and is a part of our lives for sure, but just in a different way.

We had discovered after his autopsy results came back that Gabriel had some sort of chromosomal disorder.  One of the Trisomy types.  Though it is comforting in some way that we didn't do anything wrong and we didn't do anything that would "cause" his death, I have learned that it's perfectly natural to try to find a way to almost blame yourself as a mother because it's a way of struggling to find some way to bring "control" over a situation that is out of our control.  But it wasn't my fault.  It just happened.

I think of him every single day and I am happy and joyful even when I think of how perfect he is with all of the Saints.  He's just... perfect.

I heard once that when a family receives a Saint from one of their members, that gift never is "easy earned".

It is an indescribable thing to lose a child.  I don't always feel like I'm the best person to look to, because as much as the grief comes, our faith really does change everything for us.  The truth, just changes everything.  We feel like he obtained the grace for us to find healing and peace and a knowledge that he is very much alive and well where he is (which really is not very far away) fairly quickly.  I know this is not always the case for others, but we watched as he brought healing and reconciliation and graces and peace to SO many through his intercession that it was hard not to see him at work all around us.  I know others struggle for a much longer time to find peace... and I've learned that each person's grief and journey in life is their own.

Every child in a family is a gift and each one has a purpose.  HIS purpose was always to go first.  He was always supposed to be first and he was to be the one interceding for us.  He is the one that has taught us all how very close heaven is to us... it's really not that far away at all.  He has taught us how very real the saints are and when we say they are our family and they are praying for us and they have a very real interest in what is going on in our lives, it's true.  It's one thing to pray to a Saint that we feel a particular devotion to, but imagine the gift I feel in being able to pray to my SON?  I mean, seriously, how can my son say no to his mother?  I'm still his mother!  What a gift to be able to say to his sisters with confidence, "If you ever need anything, just ask your brother".  

Gabriel's funeral was just beautiful.  Our Pastor said a beautiful and heartfelt Mass and told a story about how each tree has beautiful blossoms, but not all open and reach fruition, yet all make up part of the tree.  I had gotten to sing and Shaun read the readings and I thought of how Daddy reads to his children every night and I sing them lullabies and even for Gabriel we could do this.  When I was singing I looked out into the church and saw how many had come to support us and this little boy they had never met and how they took the time during a work day, right after they celebrated Christmas with their families.  We were upheld in so much love that I said afterwards how my cross didn't feel so heavy after all because I had so many others helping me to carry it.  It made me think of Simeon and how grateful Jesus must have been for the company while carrying his own cross.

I looked and saw so many women who had sat on my couch and told me their stories and shared their losses with me and I felt united to them.  I gathered them into my heart and offered them in prayer.  I still do.  I will never forget those women and fathers.  I know many found healing and one in particular told me she received a lot of healing that day to finally grieve over the loss of her daughter years before and find more closure.  Months later she told me how when sitting in the back of the funeral she had seen in prayer (not like a vision, but almost so real that you can see it ...if you know what I mean) a beautiful dark haired, dark eyed little girl and a beautiful little boy holding hands.  The little boy turned to the little girl in happiness and while pointing at me said, "That's my Momma!  Where's your mommy?"  the little girl turned and looked right at this friend of mine and said "There she is.  That's MY mommy!"  Both were happy and perfect and beautiful and very much alive.

That's my son.

Our little Saint is SO much a part of our family still.  Ava talks about him all the time.  He is her brother.  She will regularly ask to bring a balloon to him at the cemetery and let it go for him to play with.  Usually it's in the shape of a heart or a star (which always makes me think of that song she sang in the ultrasound room).

Today we went to water his flowers at his beautiful little grave and it was such a sunny, gorgeous day.  Ava helped me water them and she and Clara ran around picking dandelions.  It was a brief visit and on the way out we talked about how Gabriel must share all of his balloons with all of the other children in Heaven.  "Yes he does, Mommy!  I think so, because he is a very good sharer, just like you and Daddy" she said.






What do I hope she learned from all of this?  That we love ALL of our children from the very beginning no matter what and we never forget them.  We will always love them, forever.

...Soooo...

You remember why we named Gabriel, his name?  One of the reasons is because the Angel Gabriel made Mary a mother when he visited her ...and that is what he did for me.

Well, on the Feast of the Annunciation I was sitting in Mass, and had totally forgotten that it was the Annunciation (the day we celebrate when Gabriel came to Mary).  I had taken a pregnancy test a few days before and it came back negative, so we knew we weren't pregnant, but sitting and listening to the readings about Mary and Gabriel I couldn't help but think happily of my son and also of how beautiful it would have been to be expecting during the same time as Mary was, leading up again to Advent.... but I knew I wasn't and that was ok.

That night I felt compelled to take another test and we found out that the first test was wrong!  We WERE pregnant!  We were just meant to find out ON the Feast of the Annunciation!

What a gift from our little son!

Uh, Later we found out it was twins!

TWINS!

God is so generous.  He had to take one and but he gave back two.

He did not have to do this for us and we didn't expect it, but this was his gift to us.  Twins!

I've been wanting to tell you all so badly, and am sorry to announce so late.  (I'll be 20 weeks on Thursday)


We just found out that we are having a little BOY and a little GIRL!!!

Both look very healthy so far and are measuring a little big for their age (which is normal for my babies ...and good).

My due date falls right at the end of November, just after Thanksgiving (right before we lost Gabriel) but we expect they will probably come early.

Please, keep us in prayer for a continued safe and healthy pregnancy!  God is so good!




Oh, and P.S.  If you want to view the latest Ultrasound pics, send me and email or friend me on facebook because they sent them to me via email, but I don't know how to download them so that you can see on them on the blog.