My Shaun's been sick for weeks (though still working) so this weekend was a time to rest for us. I took his Holy Hour this morning after a bit of arguing over it ...him saying I couldn't because I needed my sleep and I saying he couldn't because he needed his rest before returning to work. I eventually won the tug of war over time with Jesus today (after all, he has another Holy hour on Monday mornings at 4am before he goes to work).
It was so awesome to spend some time with Our Lord after not being able to for a while now with the babies. Shaun & I always went to holy hour at 4am every Sunday morning while we were dating. It's where he proposed to me. Ava attended in utero and even as an infant for a while... but now it's just not possible, nor do I think Jesus wants me to wake up two babies to bring them to Holy Hour at 4am.
I've missed it.
I was in bed by 2am and wondered if I should just stay up, but didn't. I slept for an hour and quietly readied myself this morning and stole away in the dark to meet up with another lover... my Lord.
I am by NO means a morning person, but I do love going to Adoration when the world is asleep and our city is quiet and sneaking in to find Jesus waiting... for me.
I knelt down and the first thought that came to mind was, "*sigh* I've missed you" I've spent many a holy hour unconscious and expected this morning to be yet another time. I never come with my pillow or anything and don't try to fall asleep, but often do and have always been consoled with the fact that St. Therese, Doctor of the Church and super saint... was known to joke that she also slept 7 of her 9 years away in the convent. She gives me hope.
Strangely, I was awake, though and was so happy to be able to sing to Jesus in the still of the night and talk to him about my concerns and needs and little happenings in my daily life and pray for those I'd read about on facebook or who I'd been carrying on my heart. I always heard that the best time to pray for people is when they're sleeping because they're more docile to God's grace at that time and aren't fighting it. I hope that's true.
I don't fancy myself a good "pray-er" I find myself an awful penitent and I have ADD that kicks in big time when I try to meditate or pray a rosary or all around "focus" my thoughts... so whatever comes to mind I end up offering up and figure maybe my distractions are meant to remind me of people/things to pray for. So I do. And I say "I love you Jesus" ...a lot.
I think about my relationship with Shaun and how when we're tired, we often don't talk a lot but just "hang out" or spend quiet "time" with each other. It's not about what we say... it's just being there with the other. ...and we can never say "I love you" too much. It never gets old and I never get sick of hearing it. I think it's the same way with Jesus and I.
So my day began that way... what a great way to spend a morning.
I crawled back into bed around 5:30 and quickly fell back off to sleep, at peace that I'd poured out my heart to Jesus and he would take care of everything in it's time. Ava was up around 7:30 and Clara must've been awake sooner because I was nursing her when Daddy brought Ava into bed to cuddle. I love our Sunday mornings. Laying in bed with arms full of babies (even when I'm half asleep) and Daddy's home.
Daddy eventually brought the girls downstairs so I could catch an extra 30-45min of shut eye before starting to get ready for Mass. Unfortunately this was not without protests from Ava who eventually calmed down to a morning movie and breakfast.
Still don't think we're perfect. My lack of sleep caused quite a bit of grumbling from me as we were getting ready for Mass and I fought the urge to shake it off when my husband responded jovially to all my nagging. AGHhhhh! He's TOO funny and sweet... he's not taking me seriously!!!
Which he wasn't ...thank God.
This as usual quickly passed and we found ourselves walking in with the priest (try as we might we're almost never early... or on time) to our parish's 1st Communion Mass. We don't have a ton of children in our small parish, but those that are were dressed so beautifully with veils and flowers in their hair and white ribbons on their suit sleeves... their sweetness was heart warming.
Ava was actually very good today and there was no need to take a trip to the back of the church except to quickly nurse Clara who we had rushed out of the house while sleepy. Afterwards there were photos and Ava visiting her "Ji-ji" and "Mi-mi" with kisses and excited steps and songs.
...but not before the moment when I found my husband staring at me in the middle of Mass and he said (perhaps louder than he intended to and enough for others to hear), "You are really beautiful. You are. I love you so much." ...and I started crying. How blessed am I?
The rest of our day was filled with the quiet "restfulness" that Sundays are made of, but which go by much too fast.
Movie time with Pa-pa!
Big shoes to fill
My "big girl"
Story time with Daddy (he's the BEST at reading stories)
A "Happy Baby" as Ava likes to call her...
...sporting some "Rose" themed duds from the Martins (thank you!)
It may sound sappy, but I love my faith. I love my life. I love my husband...
and lucky for me ...he loves his wife.