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We met over 8 years ago at church as Shaun was walking in and I was walking out. The few words exchanged sparked an interst that kept Shaun coming back. When we FINALLY began dating 4 years later we soon knew there was something special here. Our first year quickly flew by and we both decided we never wanted to spend another year with anyone else or without each other. We married in the place where it all began on January 1, 2011 (1/1/11) and gave birth to our beautiful daughter Ava Marie on September 22, 2011 our next little one, Clara Rose came 16 months later on February 11, 2013. This blog began with our preparation with our wedding and has entered into recording the days and events of our newlywed life and new motherhood.

The Happy Couple...

Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

Ava Marie

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

Clara Rose

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Gabriel's ticker

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Twins ticker

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Saturday, December 21, 2013

We're Home...

We're home.  We are doing "ok".  I delivered a little boy at 1:10pm on December 20, 2013.  Imagine! A little boy!

We named him "Gabriel John Fullen"

GABRIEL...
Gabriel because his name means "Strength of God" and though he was not strong enough to stay with us, he reached heaven before all of us.
Gabriel was the messenger who came to Mary who's visit made her a mother.
Gabriel was the one who came to Joseph and guided him to Egypt to keep the Holy family safe.
Gabriel was the one who came to the Shepherds and told them to REJOICE because their Savior had come.
Gabriel never minded being the one to come between heaven and earth to show God's love and care for us

Gabriel...
    ...our Christmastime Baby.

JOHN...
John because Shaun means John

John was Shaun's grandfather's name (and we live in the home that he lived in with Shaun's grandmother)
My Father's name was "Ivica" which means Johnny
His Father's name was "Ivan" which also means John
...and it would be a way to lay them to rest in name.

But MOST of all, John is in honor of John, the beloved disciple.
John was the one who laid his head on Jesus' heart at the last supper
John was the one who was closest to our Lady
John was the one (the only one) who followed Jesus all the way to the cross
John was the youngest

He is my favorite

So... our little "GABRIEL JOHN" will be the one who goes between our family and heaven.  He's the one who will guide us.  He's the one who now rests with his head upon the heart of Jesus and he is surely close to Our Lady.  He is the one Jesus loves.

...and He will be spending Christmas in Bethlehem.

(Thank you to all of you for your prayers and your love and support.  There are not words to thank you, but know... they are felt.)

32 comments:

  1. I had a feeling it was a boy....prayers continued; your faith is inspiring.

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    1. So many people said that! Thank you... Thank God for His gift of faith. I don't know how those without it can endure.

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  2. Oh, Marijanna...I'm bawling my eyes out...that was so beautiful.

    How did Clara do without you?

    Sending lots of love and prayers and online (((((hugs))))

    Beautiful sweet little baby Gabriel John, pray for us.

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    1. Amazingly, Jamie, while I was on my way to the hospital, a friend of a friend dropped of breastmilk for Clara and that is truly what got her through until I returned today. She was up as her usual 4-6x a night, but seemed fine upon my return and has gone right back to nursing. Thank God. This was SUCH a concern of mine, but I felt God saying, "Don't worry about anything" I mean... If Mary can ask Jesus to turn water into wine.. surely she asked him to send a little milk for my babe.

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  3. Praying for you, what a beautiful name and the inspiration behind it is so heartfelt and deep! A little boy.. a little soul in heaven.. You are in my prayers!

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    1. Thank you Mary. Pray to him. He is a Saint (and not too busy... yet).

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  4. This was one of the most beautiful tributes I ever read! May your Christmas be a blessed one!

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    1. Thank you, Evita. I believe it will be. I will never see Bethlehem again without seeing two babies there. Our Lady's ...and mine.

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  5. Such a beautiful name. Gabriel is one of the names we are looking at if we have a boy. You now have a precious little son praying for you in heaven....not many parents have that gift. I'm so happy Clara did well, I was worried about her. Praying for you and I'll be asking little Gabriel to intercede for us as well.

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    1. It would be such a great name. Not only that of an angel... but also a little Saint too. I know he's been praying for us even before we lost him, to help us get through this time.

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  6. What a beautiful name and tribute for a beautiful, beloved boy . . . and now you are the mother of a little saint in the great cloud of witnesses. Your girls are the sisters of a saint who will intercede for them their whole lives. It's certainly a hard, hard blessing to earn. I have no good words, except to say that I am still praying and sending you love.

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    1. Thank you, Aimee. We know it. We love our little Saint and that's exactly what we told Ava. We have changed our prayers at night to include praying TO her brother Gabriel instead of FOR the "New Baby". I know when I have prayed to him even now... it is far more intimate than the way I have prayed to any other "patron Saint". He knows we love him and it is comforting to know he hears us when we pray to him. It makes him in reality... much closer. Continue to pray as the grief comes in waves.

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  7. Hugs and love my dear friend...
    I prayed for you at mass tonight...
    Sending love...

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    1. Thank you so much Billie Jo. BEST gift you could give us. Thank God for friends who pray.

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  8. Beautiful tribute and beautiful name! We are praying for you.

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    1. Thank you and thank you for letting your Mum know. She called me and told me the sisters are praying. This means so much.

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  9. Sweet Marijanna, you have remained on my heart, thoughts and prayers. What a beautiful post and tribute to your son. When I read that you were on the way to be induced, the name 'Gabriel' was the next word that entered my mind. Seriously. May little Gabriel rest peacefully on Mary's lap and draw you even closer to her. I hope that Gabriel is keeping company with my Natalie Noel as they watch their mamas. Oh to be with them in heaven one day!
    Much love, hugs and prayers to you and your family.

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    1. Oh my dear Sarah, thank you. I believe he's already busy at work, but it's so nice to be able to talk to him whenever I want to/need to and KNOW, really KNOW that he hears me. Oh Natalie Noel... what a beautiful name. They are with each other and in a great company. We will be with them someday... I'm praying he gets me there. I had such a strong picture the other day of my Shaun (who is a Saint) on the day he goes to Heaven... his son will come to meet him there. Oh that day...

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  10. Sweet Marijanna, you have remained on my heart, thoughts and prayers. What a beautiful post and tribute to your son. When I read that you were on the way to be induced, the name 'Gabriel' was the next word that entered my mind. Seriously. May little Gabriel rest peacefully on Mary's lap and draw you even closer to her. I hope that Gabriel is keeping company with my Natalie Noel as they watch their mamas. Oh to be with them in heaven one day!
    Much love, hugs and prayers to you and your family.

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  11. Oh, a beautiful name. Thoughts go out to you and your husband. I have thought about you so much. Know that there are a lot of friends in bloggy land that just pray for you and your husband. We cant forget about those mens hearts.

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    1. Oh my husband... he's just... I just love him. Please pray for his Father's heart.

      Thank you so much for your prayers, Christine. xo

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  12. Dear Marijianna and Family,
    I have watched you grow from a little girl to the cherished woman you are today. Your heart has always overflowed with your love for the Lord. your family, your friends and even strangers. Your love for all held no limits. Now, at this very difficult time, all who have felt your love, return it ten fold. Please know that you and your family are in the prayers of many. Hold tight dear one, we are all with you in this valley. I will hold your little one close to my heart throughout my life. We will mourn with you and your family. I whole heartedly would like to visit one day soon, even if it is to just sit silently with you, to hug you when sorrow takes over as God comforts you thru this time. Love & more love, Jill, Amy and Derek

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    1. Amy, thank you so much. We would really LOVE to see you. We are so so overdue for a visit and so many times I've meant to stop by, I'm sorry I havent'. I'm glad Derek is home for Christmas and when he's feeling up to it we'd love a visit or if you'd just like to come by yourself... whatever, our home is your home...always.

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  13. Oh I'm so sorry. You and your family will be in our prayers. God bless you.

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    1. Thank you so much Jennie! I am so appreciative of the support and prayers. Your family is so beautiful and happy! You look AMAZING after just having that baby!

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    1. Kim, thank you so much! Your family is just beautiful! Thank you for taking the time to comment and show your support.

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  15. Coming here from Colleen Martin's blog; I'm so so sorry! Gabriel John can keep company with our Philip, who would have been 7 this next year if he hadn't been born too soon. He too was a Christmastime baby (January 10, during our 12 days as we celebrate Russian Christmas). You might feel like you are drowning some days, like the Gabriel size hole in your heart will never stop sucking everything into it, but it will get better, and there will be good days and bad days, and sometimes, even years later, you can be going along, everything normal, and suddenly the hurt is fresh and new again. But mostly, it gets better. Your post is absolutely beautiful. If you are looking for resources, I highly recommend Naming the Child by Jenny Schroedel (a good friend of mine).

    Memory Eternal to Gabriel, and grace and peace to you for the long journey ahead.

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    1. Oh little Philip, what a handsome name! It's so nice to know he has such company there. There's something about a Christmastime baby that I believe will color the season hereafter. Thank you so much for taking these moments to reach out and for your beautiful words. Thank you also for the resource! Prayers for your Philip. xo

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  16. What a beautiful name for your sweet baby in heaven. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

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  17. These descriptions of his name are so beautiful!
    I know he is so blessed to have you two as parents and his darling sisters, as well.
    I'll keep praying for you all and hope you are doing well!

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