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We met over 8 years ago at church as Shaun was walking in and I was walking out. The few words exchanged sparked an interst that kept Shaun coming back. When we FINALLY began dating 4 years later we soon knew there was something special here. Our first year quickly flew by and we both decided we never wanted to spend another year with anyone else or without each other. We married in the place where it all began on January 1, 2011 (1/1/11) and gave birth to our beautiful daughter Ava Marie on September 22, 2011 our next little one, Clara Rose came 16 months later on February 11, 2013. This blog began with our preparation with our wedding and has entered into recording the days and events of our newlywed life and new motherhood.

The Happy Couple...

Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

Ava Marie

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

Clara Rose

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Second Birthday tickers

Gabriel's ticker

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Twins ticker

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Pregnancy tickers

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

27 days till delivery...

So now I'm obsessed with counting in "days".  I know she could come 2 weeks early (or even tomorrow for all I know) ...or late.  I'm hoping not late because she's already big... I think... well, ok, maybe not just me.  Everyone thinks. 

I went to my midwife appt tonight and after a particularly difficult night sleeping I found myself feeling "edgy" as the day went on with a lingering headache that wouldn't go away.  Probably the fatigue.  When I feel like this I try to pretty much keep to myself, realizing I probably just need rest and space. 
By the end of the day I went into my midwife appt and burst into tears!  This is SO unlike me, but I think my fatigue and anxiety had built all day long and I knew I had to put together my "birth plan" and took one look at her and said, "I'm not myself today" (enter the waterworks)
(I wasn't this bad... but almost felt like it inside ...hormones GRRRR)
This is such a humbling experience for me being so in touch with my own fears and vulnerabilities.  I've cared for hundreds of children lovingly and confidently and all of a sudden this one little person can make me scared to death.  I am so aware of the responsibility of being a good parent and though billions of women have given birth over the years... somehow my own experience has gotten me tremendously anxious, so when people say "Bet you can't wait now!" ...I'm torn between the excitement of meeting this little person I've grown to love so much and the sadness I'll feel when I don't feel her kicking inside me or playing with her feet or moving around ...this is something I've really grown to love.

*Deep sigh*

After my appointment I came home in time to walk next door to my neighbor's and pray a rosary (She's having her home enthroned).  I needed the strength that comes from Jesus and Mary.  I wondered why it took me so long to "break out the beads" today.  I began to feel a little better.

Then Shaun came home after a long day ...and he was SOoo encouraging.  I am calmer just when he's around!  He's not scared at all.  He's SO ready for her and can't wait to hold her.  His confidence and trust puts me at ease.  He just took me in his arms, kissed me on the forehead, told me how beautiful I was and not to be afraid because "I can do this". 

Thank God for this man I've been given who believes in my strength and yet is such a rock that I feel I do not have carry everything on my own.  He is such a gift to me.

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