NO Watermelons ALLOWED!!!

That's it!  New rule in the Fullen home...

 "NO Watermelons ALLOWED!"

We have not had luck with this particular fruit.

Seems innocent looking enough right?

WRONG.
At least for us. 
Last year when we had the Feast celebration here (which is quickly approaching this weekend) I picked up among everything else, a nice round watermelon big enough to share. 

There was not enough room in our fridge (when IS there enough room for a watermelon), so last minute I tossed it in the cooler out on the back porch which was also filled with ice and nice cold drinks of water and juice. 

After the day passed I realized that I had forgotten all about serving the watermelon! 

No problem, I'd cut it up and indulge throughout the week, but it was late, so the cutting would have to wait till tomorrow.

Well, "tomorrow" came and I forgot all about it.  Then the next day and the next and before we knew it, the watermelon was far from our thoughts...

Until...

One day we decided to use the cooler and when I went to open it
UGHHhhhhhhhhh!  It looked and smelled like a rotten corpse! 

DI-sgusting!  It had completely exploded in the heat all over the interior of the cooler and mixed with the ice-turned water and water bottles and juices... gross doesn't even begin to explain.

What the heck were we going to do with it?  NO seriously, you don't understand... this thing smelled SOoooooo bad that if we emptied it out anywhere near our yard, our neighbors would HATE us... and fear us.

So upon debate we decided to carefully load it into the back of the truck and drive far out to our fishing hole.  That's not suspicious looking at all right?

We parked the truck where no one would see and would you believe it?  The PREGNANT lady was the one who had to dump it and rifle through all the bottles and juices covered in watermelon decomposition

...because her husband was practically heaving from disgust. 

We hosed that cooler like you wouldn't believe and bleached it like crazy.  Then for the heck of it, we poured a whole gallon of bleach in to "sit for a while".
...still to this day smells like rotten watermelon.  $50 cooler, useless.

After being so dramatically traumatized by watermelons, we did not purchase another for a LOooong while. 
Then THIS summer came around and I decided to give it another chance and did purchase a small one to fit in our fridge and snack on...

But I forgot about that one too at the back of the fridge till it had completely shriveled up...  HOW does someone forget a watermelon for that long???

So I decided this week to try one more time and picked up one perfect for the three of us. 

Instead of putting it in the fridge or a cooler I left it on the kitchen counter near the fruit bowl... for a whole whopping day!!!!  Ok, day and a half.

Today I came back from running errands and walked in to see water all over the beautiful brazilian cherry floor.  I was like, "What the heck?  What's leaking!?  Did I leave something out?" 

I walked over and there it was just staring at me.  I bet it was laughing.

Our innocent looking watermelon was the culprit.  In the SHORT time I was out running errands it had gone from perfectly sound to EXPLODING out the side and leaking rotten watermelon juice all over all our mail, anything else on the kitchen counter, down the table, splattering into a puddle onto the floor and running into our "fairly new" kitchen rugs.

That was it.

I called Shaun at work to declare the new house rule.  "NO more watermelons allowed."

I could hear the smile in his voice, but I was SERIOUS!  No more.  That's it.  I'm done.  They may look innocent, but I know the truth.