This was taken 2 WEEKS ago... so I'm even bigger now!
Today I visited my midwife for my strep test and 34 (& 1/2) week checkup. I've been worrying about her "not moving enough" (I did the same thing with Ava) and needed to hear her heartbeat again and hear that I had nothing to worry about. I worry about her growing enough (yeah... can you believe it? LOOK at me!) because for some reason I've convinced myself that she's not as big as Ava was (shouldn't I be thankful for that?), but needed to be reassured... and I was. She's just really low and seems super comfy. I supposedly have a lot of amniotic fluid (which is a good thing) so I'm not feeling her move as much. My bloodpressure was high again, but as my labs came back good last time, I'm trying not to be anxious.
I'm so grateful I'm giving birth with my midwife, Louise as she gives me so much peace... but I'm not looking forward to giving birth again. I know that Ava's delivery was "less than ideal" with a 10 day hospital stay and bout with preeclampsia and all... so I can't really "compare" the two, but I keep fighting off the anxiety that comes from associating with my only experience of giving birth! It was unbelievable and memorable and there was so much that I wouldn't change one bit and I'm WELL aware that I was sustained by many many many many prayers in order for both of us to fare so well in the end, but realistically, even though I'm so grateful for all the good from her birth, when I think of this one... it's not like looking forward to a birthday party or a vacation... it's childbirth... and there's nothing "fun" about it.
Thanks a LOT, Eve!
That being said, I can't believe how SOON our new little miss will be here! It's really right around the corner! Over 34 weeks down and I have to say that this pregnancy totally flew by compared to Ava's ...and she came early, so I don't understand it. We're so excited but I have to admit that I'm in a bit of disbelief that in a little over a month a new little girl will be capturing our hearts and filling our home! I keep looking down at my belly and thinking... what the HECK?? How did it get this big so fast? Suddenly I feel very very very pregnant.
I haven't done anything to get ready. Nothing. No stocking up on diapers like I did with Ava. Ok, all the baby clothes are organized and in those air sucking storage bags inside clear plastic bins and clearly labeled by month... but that's it.
Realistically, she'll be in our room for the 1st 3 months, so I do have a bit of time to get things ready and transition our current "baby" into a real bed (I don't know how that's going to go down because she's a VERY fidgety sleeper!) and a different room (it's just across the hall) so the baby can use the crib when she finally needs it.
My biggest concerns are this ankle healing completely (it's still not all better) so I can carry these littles up and down the stairs and how I'll handle bedtimes and nursing while Ava still needs me so much. I also don't want to keep Shaun up all night because he really needs his sleep for his work and doesn't get enough already.
It'll all work out I'm sure, but any advice you could give from your "mom expertise" out there... feel free to share. I'm all ears. Thanks everyone!
Yeah... my fear of giving birth again really makes me scared to get pregnant again. I know for me, pretty much everything went wrong from her trying to come out with the side of her head leading to a c-section, so who knows, perhaps next time it will go right. I definitely feel you there. I kind of never believe the women who say their birth was amazing, I mean, there's just a lot of emotional and physical pain and exhaustion.
ReplyDeleteAnnamarie is a terrible sleeper, so I don't have much in words of wisdom about night time and handling bedtimes. I think it's probably like any newborn stage, you survive it and then kind of look back at it and wonder how you did it ha! (at least for us with a terrible sleeper, that's how I look back on the bad nights)
I'll definitely pray for you though!
Funny thing is that even with the difficulty with Ava, I wasn't at all afraid to get pregnant again. We knew we wanted more children if God would bless us and we left that up to Him, but you're right that it's definitely "labor". Gave me a WHOLE new understanding to the phrase "This is my body, Given for you"
DeletePoor Annamarie. Poor you guys. I know you've said for a while now that she's just not a good sleeper. I think it will be better when she has her own room and adjusts (after she's had time to adjust to the move because that's a lot of adjustment for a little one). And then you'll all hopefully get more sleep!
Now you have that big beautiful home, though! Don't be surprised if he sends you another one ;) *wink*
Hoping your Christmas was awesome and thanks for commiserating. I appreciate it!
When you have those fears and worries (we all do, even with the 6th baby) Just remember that God is already there. He's there at the birth and He's there 2 months from now when it's all over. That always helps me...tell yourself that a ton of times....
ReplyDeleteGosh, our babies are in our room for the first year...because of fidgety sleepers...see? you'll ajust to whatever works for you! my 3 year old still falls asleep best in my bed (then daddy carries her off to her bed)
Don't worry.
That's my advice.
It all works out in the end. In the scope of things...maybe it won't be "perfect" but it works out.
I'm excited to see this sweetie pie!
Thanks Jamie. I'm trying to remember that and I KNOW he'll give the grace when I need it, but my anxieties keep creeping in. I'll keep reminding myself, though.
DeleteAva was sleeping through the night as soon as she hit 13lbs, (around 3mo) and our bedroom is quite small with the bassinett in it, so even though it was harder on me (and I worried all the time!) she moved in when she was 3mo old. I mean her crib is literally against the wall behind our headboard, so I can hear everything and she's about 5 steps away, so she's practically still with us, but I knew I had to transition her some time, so that's when we did it.
Sweetie Pie... I meant to tell you how much I love those curls!
I have to remember not to worry. It's our household "motto" "God commands us to pray... but He forbids us to worry"
Say a little prayer anyway, though, huh? xo
Oh man, this sounds like me a year ago. I can relive so easily all of my anxiousness and fears in a second. Best part is that I can say it did get better. I won't lie, it was tough. Very tough. I cried and I fretted and I was under a lot of stress most of this year due to my little girls being 11 1/2 months apart.
ReplyDeleteI worried so much about not being able to give Gianna time that she needed and taking care of her demands. Thankfully, I had the big kids to help, but still sometimes they just need mommy.
I ultimately had to put aside my 'ideals' and fight to just survive. A friend of mine reminded me that as long as the kids were fed, diapers were changed and they were even remotely happy, it was a good day. That is what I managed to do each day. Every month that both girls got bigger and they both passed new milestones, I breathed a little easier. It's tough when you are OCD like myself and put a lot of undue stress and pressure to get everything done.
Margaret still sleeps in a crib in the office adjoining our room and Gianna in her own crib down the hall. Not sure when that will change or what we'll do to change it, but for now it's fine.
God will definitely give you the grace you need. Trust me, I relied on that grace and it became so evident to me this year.
As for labor & delivery, my thought is always that it's not the worst thing in the world and I'm gonna survive it. On the other side is a new little one and a whole new set or challenges and transitions. I always think when I am in labor "what was I thinking doing this again?!! I must be crazy!!" Thankfully, I've had a good doc/midwife for all my children's births. Would not trade that for anything.
I'll keep up the prayers and send them your way. Peace and Joy to you as you wrap up your final weeks of pregnancy. Many {hugs} from MN!
I know I have to be more "real" about it, Sarah... and I definitely have more space between them than you did! I just was weaning Ava from nursing at 11.5 mo (tried to make it till 12mo, but had some difficulty at the end)
DeleteI think that's my worry too, about Ava's needs and being able to be there for both of them whenever they need. Yet... I'm so lucky that she's honestly such a good girl. REally blessed!
I know he's leading me to trust Him more and he understands my fears and anxieties (as does Our Lady) and there is SO much to offer up everything for... but I feel like a terrible penitent. REally... weak.
Thank goodness I have an AWESOME midwife and my husband is eager to be there again by my side. If you read our first birth story, you'll see the transition he made... quite a change ;)
Thanks for the prayers. I'm sure we'll be fine. And everything is SO much better this time around. I thought Ava's pregnancy and everything were great until I realized I could have died... and she could have too! Shows how "ignorance is bliss"
Thanks for stopping by and all the compliments. YUP, taking pictures of the family is one of my favs.!
ReplyDeleteHope all goes well with this baby! So exciting to have a newborn in the house!
Hang in there and cannot wait to see pics of her. JEALOUS of Ava's hair. So cute, curly and thick!
You'll be seeing pics soon, I'm sure! Thanks for stopping over. Miss Ava... oh that hair. It's been her signature (and her eyes) from the beginning. TONS of it and we think the curls are from my Nana.
DeleteHonestly, you just have to do whatever it takes as a mom. Giving birth, sleepless nights, babies babies everywhere, you just kind of do it. I did it with no help except for Phil (thank God for that man!) and lots of tears at times and lots of laughter at times. Having bunches of littles is hard and nobody understands it until they go through it themselves. But I promise, I wouldn't have done it any other way. God knew exactly what He was doing planning our family and I was so lucky to stay home or just work part-time while the older four kids were all so young and needy (I mean John-Paul was 4 when Maggie was born!). Siblings are the best thing ever to give to a kid and Ava won't remember life without one. I think the hardest thing about having the second baby was making my first baby (my whole world up until then) wait for things. I remember John-Paul needing lunch but Andrew was nursing and colicky and I couldn't put him down and I just kept trying to tell J-P to be patient with Mommy, and feeling so guilty about it. But does he remember that? Nope! He just loves his built in best friend for life. It's hard and awesome and amazing all at once. Plus you have lots of people praying for you, a hubby with a great job, and a wonderful mom to help, you are already truly blessed!!
ReplyDeleteYOU have always amazed me! I know I'm so blessed. I know I'll be ok. I just have to fight through those waves of anxiety that come. Love you! Sometimes I wonder if I was "younger" (like 10 years younger) if it would be easier... but then again, there's so much I learned during those 10 years that make this time the perfect time for all of this. God knows what he is about.
Deleteps...you look A LOT like one of my cousins. I will have to post a pic just to show you!
ReplyDeleteIs her name Brooke Sheilds? Cindy Crawford? Cameron Diaz? I KNEW it! ;)
DeletePraying for you as your day draws near! I am hoping you can e-mail me at gundrumphotography@gmail.com, I keep on sending you e-mails about visiting that are sent back, would love to see you if it were to work out!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Mary gundrum
Thank you so much for your prayers, Mary! I never recieved the emails! Didn't want to impose on you all during this time, but so wanted to visit if we could. Let me know if tomorrow (or sometime this week) works out. My husband is home tomorrow and though we usually go to Mass on Sunday morning, because there was a special parish dinner, we went tonight. This frees up our day quite a bit tomorrow. I have some free time this week as well and would love to connect before you head home if possible.
DeleteHoping sweet Dominic (and all your beautiful others) are doing well. Been praying still.
P.S. email is: marijanna1111@gmail.com
I dont' have any advice to give, but as my sister has already said, I will also keep you in my prayers as your pregnancy ends. How exciting!
ReplyDeleteAnd I know what you're talking about when you say you suddenly got "huge"--this is also what happens to me. I am "cute" from about 5-7 months, and then all of a sudden people are saying I'm as huge as a house, big as a horse, you know. I've heard them all.
Rest that ankle!